


Scars

by SilverWolf7



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: And a friend, Crying, Dan being a worried friend, Gen, Hugs, Lucifer Needs a Hug, Lucifer tells Dan, Lucifer under too much pressure, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:35:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverWolf7/pseuds/SilverWolf7
Summary: After finding out Charlotte is Lucifer's mother, Dan decides to have a chat with him about scars and feelings.  He gets told more than he thought he would.





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This story just hit me and I had to write it instead of the next chapter to Nesting Behaviour. Hope it's enjoyable. Because damn it, I want to see Lucifer actually cared for by someone who is just a friend.

Dan was taught by his parents to not stare, so when he got his first peek at Lucifer’s back, he curbed his need to know and his sudden attention shift and looked away.

But he remembered that day. He remembered the vivid scars marring his back. Remembered Lucifer’s self-hatred and suicidal tendencies. Hell, the man put a hit out on himself.

But most of all, he remembered the loneliness and the sadness. The case they had with the ex-lovers of Lucifer’s burned itself into his mind. So many people and he had cared in his own way for every single one of them, and not one cared back. To the general populace, he was nothing but a good lay.

He had talked to Lucifer about that and was thankful the man was in therapy, because damn does that man have problems.

But it wasn’t until after he found out that Charlotte Richards was his mother that he decided to actually talk to him about it, because that woman was a nasty piece of work at times and he knew firsthand how much she could stab people in the back for her own selfish needs.

He had no idea what was going on in private with that family, but for days Lucifer has been a moping mess. He barely cracked a smile and yeah, okay, Dan found himself worried. He knew Chloe and Ella were worried too, but Lucifer refused to talk about his private life with Chloe.

He had no idea of what kind of relationship Lucifer had with Ella only that it was not sexual. That man needed some good friendships that didn’t end in sex and, knowing how horrible it was to not feel like you could talk to anyone about things, he decided to make it his personal mission to be a better friend and see if he could help out as a non-sexual guy friend. 

As soon as Chloe left to go pick up Trixie, Dan cornered Lucifer before he could leave, not that it was very hard to do. The man looked lost in thought in his chair beside Chloe’s desk. “Hey, Lucifer. I want to talk with you privately. Come on, there’s a vacant interview room free.”

Lucifer blinked up at him, sighed, but got up and followed him obediently into the room. It was one without the one way mirror. In here they’d have actual privacy.

“You wanted to talk to me why, Dan?” Lucifer asked, his voice sounding slightly irritated. 

“Chloe told me. You know, about how Charlotte is your mom.”

He meant to go on, but Lucifer blanched. “Oh no, please don’t say anything about your sex life with her. I’ve heard enough from her side to last an eternity.”

Dan stared, because he wasn’t going to say anything about that at all. “What? No, man. I wasn’t going to talk to you about sex. I just wanted you to know that I have had my own taste of what that woman is like and I can’t imagine having to live with her for any amount of time. So, you know...if you wanted to talk to another guy about things I’m here.”

Lucifer blinked and frowned. “You’re going to have to state your intentions a bit better than that, Dan, because I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Dan sighed. “Look, I just remembered those scars you have on your back and your messed up emotional problems and your issues with your parents. Man, I remember when you pitted your mother as the bad guy in all the cases we came upon when she re-entered your life. And, yeah, I get that you have a therapist and all to talk about your problems with but...”

Lucifer glared at him. “No, actually. I don’t. She used her real name when she busted me out of the mental institute. She got caught. She’s still wavering between being suspended or having her licence revoked.”

Dan blinked at that and frowned. “Shit, really? That sucks. But this is even more worrying. Lucifer, you’re wound tight. You need to talk about whatever it is that’s happened or you’re just going to explode on someone.”

“Well, that sounds messy.” Lucifer tried smirking at him, and joking, but it came off flat to Dan’s ears. 

“It will be. Personal experience talking here.” It’s one of the reasons his marriage with Chloe had ended. Well, the relationship at least. 

Lucifer’s face fell. “I don’t really know what you want me to say, Dan. Between my father trying to run my life for me behind the scenes and without my consent and my mother trying to force me into something I don’t want or am even capable of doing right now in the first place...I just...I’m under so much pressure to perform by both of them and I don’t know what way to go, what to do, and all I feel lately is pain. It’s like I’m drowning and I can’t switch it off or stop it or hide. And to do what my mum needs me to do, I need the pain. But right now it’s useless and it’s just too much.”

Sometime during his rant, Lucifer took one of the seats and laid his head on the table. Dan stepped up next to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, making sure it wasn’t touching where he remembered the scars to be. He had the horrible feeling that his parents were to blame for them.

“Whose fault are the scars?” he asked gently, hoping it didn’t spook him.

“That’s between me and my dad...” Lucifer stated, before groaning and banging his head against the table. “And no, he didn’t give them to me personally or anything.”

“Didn’t say he did. So, what is it your mom is asking you to do that’s so hard?”

Lucifer raised his head onto his hands and let out a breath. “You won’t believe me if I told you.”

Dan nodded even though the action wasn’t seen. “Doesn’t matter if I believe or not. You need to talk to someone and right now your therapist isn’t available.”

Lucifer moaned into his hands, before throwing them in the air. “At least she knows the truth! She knows I’m not delusional or living a fake life to try and escape my tragic past or...whatever. She knows who and what I am and still tried to help me.”

“Lucifer, I don’t care who or what you are. Just say it, before you lose control. And you will.”

That seemed to spook Lucifer into silence for a few seconds, before a loud sigh escaped him. “Yes, you’re right. Fine! You want to know? Short answer. My mum wants me to send her and my brother home.”

And now Dan was completely lost. “Send them home? How is that hard? You’re richer than anyone I know.”

Lucifer glared at him. “Think it through, Dan. Pretend for just one second, that I’m not delusional. That I am an angel fallen from Heaven and forced to rule Hell for eternity. Mum is not a lovely ray of sunshine as you know from personal experience, ugh. Where is home?”

Dan froze at that, not understanding if it was hypothetical or not. But he answered nonetheless. “I don’t know where home would be. Home to the devil, or home to an angel?”

“Well, that’s insulting. The devil is an angel, detective.”

“Heaven then.”

“Yes. So, if you are barred from heaven and can’t get through the gates, how do you get three barred in?”

And that one had Dan completely stumped. He grew up in a catholic household, but he had no answers to that question. The simple one would be the obvious. “You...don’t?”

Lucifer let out a bark of laughter at that. “Oh, I wish. And I for one agree with you on that. But what if a way was found? And you were the only one capable of doing it?”

Dan held up a hand at that. “Wait...why would you be the only one capable of it? Couldn’t any angel do it?”

And now there was a smile on Lucifer’s face, but it wasn’t at all a nice look. Pain and anger were very much present. “Oh, but I have a certain skill set. I am Lucifer, Detective Espinoza. What is my specialty?”

It took a while for the meaning to get through to his brain and he blinked, because it somehow seemed pretty obvious. “Light.”

The smile on Lucifer’s face eased into something more real and solid. “Yes, I am the light bringer. I ignited the stars, Dan. I made your sun burn. I gave this planet, and all planets, the light they need to survive.”

Dan scratched his head. “Okay, so how does this ability make you the only one able to break through the gates of Heaven? And, wait, why would the gates be closed?”

Rolling his eyes, the self proclaimed fallen angel threw his hands in the air. “You’d have to ask dear old Dad about that, and unless it hasn’t become incredibly obvious he isn’t exactly speaking to anyone.”

And that just brought up more questions and Dan wasn’t even certain why he was playing along with this, only that it seemed the right thing to do. “Even the angels?”

Lucifer shook a hand in response to that. “You’d have to ask one of my brothers or sisters that yourself. Someone who isn’t currently here on Earth at least. Except maybe Azrael, and I would prefer to not speak to her right now. And yes, before you ask, the angel of death is, indeed, a chick.”

Dan closed his mouth and didn’t let that question out as it had just been answered. Huh. “You still didn’t answer my other question. Why only you?”

“Because, dear Detective Douche, I am the only one capable of igniting the blade that can cut through anything. Unfortunately, the blade needs pain to work. Thankfully, I have a lot of pain. Unfortunately, it is all going to waste while waiting for the blade pieces to all be put together.”

And that to Dan sounded like the worst thought out plan ever. “Shit. You mean your mom is forcing you to live through pain just to get home again? That is harsh.”

“She doesn’t care if it’s harsh or not, Dan. All she cares about is getting back to Heaven. And even though it will be a complete disaster waiting to happen she won’t quit until I succeed and she won’t leave me alone even with her bloody sobbing over how she’s afraid she’s broken me. Hah!”

And there was just one thing Dan wanted to do after hearing that. “Lucifer, stand up for a second would you?”

Turning to him in confusion, pain visible in every movement he made, Lucifer slowly got up.

Without even thinking about it, Dan wrapped his arms around Lucifer and hugged him. The other man stiffened in his arms in a way which stated to him loud and clear that he had been deprived of good touches in his life.

“Dan, what is this?”

Dan grinned to himself at that. “Here on Earth, we call it a hug. Friends hug one another when they’re hurt. And I don’t think there’s another person I know right now who has been hurt more than you.”

It took a while, but Lucifer did at long last loosened up a little in the hold. “Can this be over now?”

“Nope. Not until you hug back and learn to relax.”

Lucifer shook his head. “I can’t relax...”

“Why not?”

He didn’t get an answer, but Lucifer did sigh and slowly his arms came up to wrap around him, returning the hug. For some reason, Dan didn’t feel at all odd about it. It reminded him too much of Trixie when she was trying to hide her worry or sadness.

“Lucifer, you know it’s alright to cry, right?” he asked, because suddenly it seemed obvious that the man in his arms wasn’t relaxing because of his emotions.

“How the hell would that help me?!” came the reply he was more or less expecting. 

“Seriously? It’s a way to naturally release some of the pressure you’re under for one. You’ll feel more stable. You cannot tell me that you haven’t felt like it. Hell, your body is shaking right now.”

“It’s just so much pressure. And I just can’t do it. I can’t and she keeps pushing and I think maybe she might just break me yet and I don’t want...” 

It was clear that Lucifer wasn’t talking about the whole crying thing when he was saying he couldn’t as he cut himself off when his voice began to waver in that way that generally meant someone was close to crying. So, Dan did the next thing he could think of.

“I’m going to run one of my hands up and down your back. It’s a gesture to give someone comfort. Friends do it to each other to lend support when it’s needed. And damn it, Lucifer, you need it right now.”

In two slow, steady passes of his hand, Lucifer began to fidget in his arms. 

“No, I can’t...”

And that one was about crying. “Why not?”

“I don’t know!”

Dan sighed, but reined in his temper, because now was not the time for anger. “I’m not your mother. I’m not either one of your parents. I’m not related to you at all. I’m a worried friend who is trying to help the one way I can. You’ll feel better afterwards. Trust me.”

“But what if I lose the pain and can’t use the blade at all.”

Dan shook his head. “It won’t get rid of the pain. It will just help you to release some of it. It will still be there.”

It seemed that was all the information Lucifer was looking for. The muscles under his arms relaxed and a head buried itself into the crook of his neck. He was expecting loud sobbing and wailing, but instead there was light shivers and the occasional hitch of breath. Other than that, he was just feeling a growing damp spot on his neck and shoulder.

After a couple of minutes he began worrying that maybe this wasn’t the right time for this, or the right place. He kept up the back rubbing anyway, since it was clear that Lucifer was getting some form of comfort from it. At least the scars didn’t seem to bother him when covered. He doubted he’d get close to them if they were uncovered.

When Lucifer was just hanging off him, instead of clinging, he stopped and nudged him slightly. “Feeling better?”

“’m tired...”

“Need a lift home?”

Lucifer nodded, but at least Dan knew it was just one more small thing he could do to drive him back to Lux.

“Alright, let’s get out of here then. Oh, one more thing. If your dad didn’t give you those scars, how did you get them?”

Lucifer looked at him with red rimmed eyes, rubbed at them for a second, before a slight smile made it on his face. “Detective, I am ashamed of you owning that title. I’m an angel, remember. It’s where my wings were cut off.”

With that, Lucifer walked out of the room and for a second Dan was back in that bathhouse looking at the crescent shaped scars in the place that generally would be available for wings if one did have them and froze.

Shaking his head clear, he went out and joined Lucifer loitering outside near the parking lot.

He could worry about who and what Lucifer was later. Right now, he was just a concerned friend driving home a wounded comrade. Because one thing was certain, Lucifer was a fighter by nature.

Right that moment, all he could do was hope he had helped and not made things worse for him.


End file.
